if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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