you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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