everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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