meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
