Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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