Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
