I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
