apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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