My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
