Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
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