but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
