trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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