I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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