so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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