How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
