wakey wakey hands off snakey
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize