You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize