Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
