Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
