I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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