i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I currently don't understand fingers.
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