Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
