Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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