my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
