I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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