you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
