Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
