Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
