This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
