Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
