He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
