He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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