I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
