halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
