Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize