If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize