If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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