I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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