I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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