I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I want her autograph on my taint
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
