Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
