I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
try to milk me bitch
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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