my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He felt like a one man threesome
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
