omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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