actually, I'm a sock model
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
