Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
