i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
