Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
