i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
