Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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