that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
