i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
