Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize