eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
