My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
