What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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