$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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