that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
