I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
