You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
