office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
